BESTEST FRIENDS EVER

Ooh, looky, a little ficcy! Featuring who? You, Kisame, and Tobi!
Title: Bestest Friends Ever
Rating: G
Genre: comedy, crack, parody, PWP, possibly fluff
Warnings: Spoilers for chapter 403 and anything after.
Summary: Kisame and Tobi are BESTEST FRIENDS EVER. But where does that leave you?

“You ended up being the last to know. You were closest to me, so I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

As usual, when you entered the Akatsuki hideout cave, you found Kisame and Tobi together. They were sitting at a table made entirely of stone, on chairs made out of stone. In fact, everything was made out of stone, considering they were in the cave. There was no nonsense involving fully furnished caves with rooms and doors and carpets to be had here, no. Because that idea is silly and everyone incorporates it into their Akatsuki fics and – did it look like there were any private rooms or bathrooms or pretty wallpaper in their cave. Ever? No, I didn’t think so. And it is solely for that reason that I didn’t include it in this. Anyway.

As usual, Kisame and Tobi were together at the stone tables with the stone chairs. They were hunched over, their right hands moving quickly across the top of the table. It seemed that they were concentrating on something.

Curious, you bounded over to them and peaked over Kisame’s shoulder.

“Whatcha dooooin’?” you asked sweetly after you had failed to see over Kisame’s shoulder. Damn him for being so big and tall. How in the world did Leader ever get a cloak big enough for him made, anyway? Seriously, he and Kakuzu were such beasts, being as tall as they were.

Kisame didn’t answer your question, and you pouted. “Kisaaaameee. What are you doing?” You poked him. Again and again and again.

Finally, fed up, Kisame turned to you. “What?”

“What’re you doing?”

The blue swordsman heaved a heavy sigh and leaned aside for you to see what he was working on. “What does it look like? I’m drawing.”

Tobi, too, had looked up and focused his attention on you. “Me too!”

Huh. You had no idea the two drew. So, even more curious, you leaned over and looked at both of their papers…

…to find identical drawings of the two, together, holding hands with the words “BEST FRIENDS!” written with red crayon across the top. Kisame, the blue stick figure with a sword, grinned a toothy smile. Tobi, the blue stick figure with an orange mask, held up one of his stick arms with two stick fingers held in the ‘peace’ symbol. You blinked.

After staring at the drawings for a few more minutes, you looked back up at Kisame with a quivering lip and watery eyes. “B-but… I thought <i>we</i> were best friends!” Upset, you ran off in the opposite direction crying your eyes outs, your wails of sadness echoing throughout the cave.

Tobi and Kisame exchanged looks.

“Should I go after her?”

TO BE CONTINUED. DUN DUN DUN.

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